Five Months/Thanksgiving

The boys had their first Thanksgiving and now they are 5 months old. They are almost half a year old! What the heck!
Thanksgiving was great. Dave's sister Michelle and her family came in town and we played kickball (we couldn't find a football or soccer ball) at his parents' house. I also had to climb a tree that Dave kicked the ball into. The guys kicked it toward the trees so many times it eventually popped...but it was fun nonetheless. The boys got some cousin time - cousin Avery in these pictures:

I made apple pie:

Papa: "Good news and bad news about your pie - Ivy tried all the pies and liked yours the best. Bad news is she thought it was strawberry."

And that's good enough for me!

I also made my turkey late because we had a big turkey at his parents' house so we decided to make ours a few days later. It is delicious.

Today we are listening to Christmas music while I try to make Christmas presents for the family.
This past month they have gotten much easier to put to bed (they sleep from about 10 to 6 every night - a schedule that will probably be destroyed during their 3 week trip to California at Christmas time), they grab things from our hands and try to eat everything, they moved up diaper sizes and clothes again, and David has been teething since he was 4 MONTHS OLD.
This month we will be getting them used to sleeping in their own crib, giving them rice cereal, and who knows what else. These babies are hungry for some food! Dave already gives them tastes of things, like apple sauce at Thanksgiving dinner. He just wants to feed them meat and tell them about the world... He thinks he's some kind of Ron Swanson or something. I'm okay with it.

In case you want a gazillion pictures of my children........

 

 

So wiggly.

They are so different but they are going to have so much fun together. You can already see that they love each other. 

David left. Harrison right.

 David has this spasticness about him that makes for great photos... reminds me of myself (and my brother). He arches his back like above in attempts to get up.

More spasticness. They're the best ever.

Good Morning

They slept 9 hours straight last night.

I was engorged with milk, but not mad at all.

Shots

David and Harrison got their second round of immunizations yesterday. It's the worst. But this time it wasn't as bad as last time. Last time they seemed sad, confused, and scared. This time they just didn't like it, but then they ate right after and fell fast asleep.

However, a few hours later when they woke up for their next feeding, David started crying. It was the "I am very much in pain" cry. Any time that happens everyone else needs to BACK UP because this mother hawk needs to find what's wrong with her baby and she doesn't care about anything else in the process! Except her other baby. I made sure he was okay too.

Because I had just changed him I noticed his legs were red and slightly enflamed under his bandaids. We decided to give him one mL of baby tylenol. He calmed a little and finished his food. Then about 10 minutes later while his papa was holding him he started crying in pain again. Ugh! I CANNOT handle when my babies are in pain. His left leg was swelling up more down to his foot and not just red but purple, too. I am panicking at this point. I called the pediatrician and he said I can give him more tylenol. I promptly obeyed. It started going down again and when it looked back to normal his exhausted, precious little self was out. Thank goodness.

Four Months: Learning

The boys are four months old today. They have grown a lot. I hardly ever pick them both up at the same time because they are getting so heavy and strong.
They are starting to be awake during the day much more than asleep now, and it's really fun, but my everyday is now much busier.

My daily To Do list usually looks like this:

>Make bottles/feed babies (on repeat)
>Pump (on repeat)
>Eat breakfast
>Spend the morning exercising them and playing with them
>Do a load of laundry
>Get dressed and brush teeth at some point...
>Take them for a walk or drive
>Read
>Try to eat lunch
>Play with them some more
>Do the dishes
>Work on my online courses
>Clean/organize something
>Exercise them some more
>Try to exercise myself!
>Try to eat dinner

The most enjoyable things on that list are reading, online courses, going for a walk, aaand playing with them is pretty fun, too. It is not as fun when they are whiny and just want me to hold them.
It's a lot to do! And that's just the basics! Just tryin' to live my life! And it's not easy to get these things done.

Harrison sitting in his chair

Happy David

Harrison being shy about smiling.

They are learning new things and I love watching them. They are grabbing things, rolling over on their backs, babbling, starting to laugh (a sound almost as beautiful as hearing my first born's cry for the first time), trying to hold their bottles when they eat, sitting up in their Bumbo chairs, and Dave and I both swear they say "mum" and "mumma" now when they cry. Just sad cries, not tired or hungry. Other people have heard it and mentioned it! Whatever, whatever, I don't care if it's on purpose or not, I like it. I've been saying the word "momma" to them constantly since they were a month old so I think they at least understand that somehow it represents me, whether they moan it or not.
Now I have started doing the word "mom" and others in sign language while I say them.

Today we listened to Mozart on the record player. It seems to be one of their favorites. These are all our records:

These are some other favorites. Okay okay, the Billy Joel one is for me, not them. The bottom right one is Animal Collective...for when I'm feeling wild. They love Andrew Bird; it's very peaceful for them. Coldplay is soothing as well.

I wish I could spend as much attention on them EACH as I do with both of them together. I have three men to show affection and love for. It's a wonderful life and I wouldn't do anything else, but some days I am worn thin. I won't pretend like my life is hard, but some days are difficult. Baby David won't breastfeed anymore and sometimes it makes me frustrated and sad. I still give him my milk in bottles, and every once in a while I try to nurse him again. It doesn't work.
As a mother, I have learned to love in a different way than ever before. When you're a mom, you can't stop. It is the definition of full time. If you're feeling sad you either fight through it and do what you have to do, or let yourself cry. Today I let myself cry. My babies are very intrigued when they see me cry. Sometimes we cry together. It's okay to cry. I want them to know that. It feels much better than not crying.
So go have a good cry! Just kidding. I mean, you can! If you feel like it. Okay that's all.

First Halloween

The twins just had their first Halloween.

David was Superman and Harrison was Batman. I was Cat Woman without the ears....(costume decision at last minute), and Dave was at work. So we went to visit him! 

It was a nice Halloween. We dressed up and went over to Dave's parents' house to watch trick or treaters and give out candy after we visited Dave. Then I picked up Thai food for everyone and got to get my delicious fix. 

We got home right before Dave. Then Dave and I gave them baths and they slept for 7 hours, and again for 4 hours after they ate.

They could have been ninja turtles but I figured that's probably what they'll be for the next 5 years at least.

Three Months

The boys are 3 months old!

Left to right: Harrison, David.

Harrison

David

Cross-eyed David

They are starting to migrate. Every time they are under this thing they giggle and play with the toys, and then they turn almost completely around. 

Here's a video to swoon over.

They are growing fast. It's so cute but so sad! They are my little buddies and I love them so deeply.

Blessed

David and Harrison were blessed in church on Sunday.

We were told by our pediatrician to wait until the boys were two months old to bring them to church (we took them a week early because we were so eager to attend as a family) and we were able to wait until this last Sunday to have them blessed because my mom and sister and her daughter came in town. It made the experience extra special. I'm really glad they could be there.

And I am so grateful for having a worthy priesthood holder as my husband who can bless my children and teach them about the gospel and help bring the holy spirit into our home. It's always been my goal, and as my life unfolds I am discovering how truly blessed I am and how hard work, commitment, and a little faith do pay off and can put you on the right path for happiness.

Stay tuned for more posts this week (hopefully).

22

I just turned 22.

Dave and I woke up to feed the babies at 4 am, and he says in a tired moan, "Happy birthday, you've covered a lot of ground this year." It's true, I have. It was hilarious.

I think it'a been 5 years since I tried to celebrate my birthday. Which is why I felt like I needed to do something really fun for my birthday this year. But I like to procrastinate. I had this vague idea of going out with our friends and just partying. What does that even mean? I don't know. I let the time fly by, and suddenly it was the day before my birthday and I didn't know what we were going to do. I was hoping Dave would have something up his sleeve, but since he surprised me with this iMac!...

...a few days earlier, I wasn't sure. (we have been wanting a computer for our home and I've been wanting to take some programming and more graphic design classes online, so Dave thought this would be a good idea. It's great).
I haven't even known what I want for my birthday in years, and I don't really care. The problem with that is when people want to get you things, they kind of have to improvise. Anyway, I didn't make it any easier on Dave, but I did keep asking him what we were going to do. He wouldn't say much, and whenever I asked about our friends Dave and Christi he said they worked on my birthday.

So I decided to be proactive. Instead of sitting around waiting to see what would happen, I started brainstorming and looking up things to do in our town. I've done that before though for date nights, so I kind of knew what to expect. I really tried though. I even went on Pinterest and typed in the search box something like "Birthday ideas." It was all pretty much just food and desserts to make. Blasted DIY cupcakes and what not...  Somehow I didn't feel like spending my birthday making the cake I would be eating and then going to bed, but I found some recipes to try just in case...
I was failing, but it was actually a good day despite the fact that Dave had to work till 9. Plus I figured there has to be SOMETHING planned!

My birthday was on a Saturday, so Dave worked until 5. It was NOT a good day. It was dark and rainy and the babies were awake all day. I didn't really have time to do anything. I don't think I even brushed my teeth - there were other things that were more important to be done. The babies weren't eating well and that made me even more frustrated. I cried a couple times. Then my friend Christi texted me! She wished me a happy birthday and said we would be having so much fun that night. I felt relieved, but then she said she didn't know what we were doing but we would have fun.
I was all angry and stuff when Dave came home and he said Dave and Christi were coming over around 6 and we would go out to eat while his parents watched the kids. I was still a little huffy and it irritated him. I was mostly just upset with myself because I didn't know what I wanted to do! Then he said something that I won't ever forget:

"Happiness is reality, minus your expectations."

Obviously at first I was like whatever DAVE. I went upstairs to pump and when he was putting one of the boys in their crib he said he doesn't know what I want or how to please me, and then he left. Keeping his earlier comment in mind, I remembered that when I was younger and still had birthday parties, I used to do the same thing every year. I had this absolutely PERFECT day in my mind and anything less than that would be a disaster. And I remembered how many times I though it was just not good enough. The last few years of not caring what happened made my birthday great usually. And suddenly in that moment I knew what was going on, and that if I kept acting that way the night would be a disaster.
I decided to change my ways. I stopped being an entitled brat who wanted someone to go inside my mind and find the PERFECT birthday party for me, and instead spent that time just thinking about all the random fun things I always want to do. Bowling seemed like the easiest and laid back thing on the list. I went downstairs and told Dave what I wanted to do and that I just wanted to be with him and relax and have a good time with our friends.

And the night was wonderful.

We bowled a little, but did what we have always had fun doing: eating and playing arcade games. And winning lots of tickets, of course.

You should think about that statement when you're feeling extra entitled. It will make you feel free.

Two Months: Recently Asked Questions

Meine Kinder are 2 months old as of last Monday.

A lot has happened and I haven't recorded any of it, really. Other than on my camera phone. 

But there is so much to catch up on I decided to just answer the most common questions I get, since the rest of you out there probably have similar questions.  Here we go.

Q: Caitlin, is it everything you expected?

A: Well... I don't really know what I expected. I babysat my nephews A TON when I was in high school (I even chose to babysit on Friday nights sometimes when other teenage things were going on), but they were all different ages, and they weren't my children Being around kids and babies so much helped me tremendously with mothering now. In some ways it's actually easier than I would have guessed. Yes it's hard when they are both crying, when my husband works until 9pm, and that I can't breastfeed both my babies at the same time so I have to bottle feed one and breastfeed the other and rotate every feeding. My mothering style had to be a little different than I anticipated because I have two babies. But I've always wanted to be a mother and I love my boys more than anything. It is the hardest thing I've done, but it's also the most enjoyable thing I've ever done. I love my job. 

Q: Do you just NEVER sleep?

A: Once 9 o'clock rolls around I am severely ready for bed, like I can barely stand up or see out of my eyes. Even if I got a nap that day. They have a fussy period usually around then, and then they sleep beautifully. Dave and I get at least 6 hours in a night. We can get a good 4-6 hour solid chunk of sleep before they wake up and want to eat. Dave is awesome and wakes up with me to help me feed them even though he has work in the morning. It cuts out a lot of time - although I still have to pump after so sometimes it is almost 2 hours later when I get back to sleep. And then we get another good stretch of sleep.

Q: Do twins run in your family?

A: They do not. We spontaneously conceived twins and we did not take any fertility drugs. 

Q: How did you deliver them?

A: "Naturally." A nicer way of saying I pushed them out after getting an epidural. And that's a story for another time. 

Q: How far along were you when you had them?

A: 34 weeks and 6 days.

Q: Are they identical?

A: They are fraternal. 

Q: Does that mean identical?

A: Nope. Non-identical. Normal fraternal brothers just conceived at the same time.

Q: Are you going to have any more kids?

A: Absolutely. In time.

Q: Can you tell them apart?

A: Yes. They look completely different.

Q: What is your schedule like?

A: They eat every 3 to 4 hours in the daytime. If they are still sleeping, I get them up by changing their diaper. They usually are awake when I am trying to eat breakfast, and again at lunch. I somehow can usually get a load of laundry or two done and the dishes if necessary. At night we let them sleep as long as they can. We bathe them every other night, sometimes more. 

Q: Where do they sleep?

A: Next to each other, swaddled, in their crib in their room. We will whip out the other crib once they start moving around and crowding each other.

Q: How many diapers do you go through in a day?

A: Around 20.

Q: How long were they in the NICU for?

A: One for 13 days and the other 15 days. It was SO hard leaving them there while I came home to just pump every few hours to bring milk to the hospital every day. I would usually go for 2 feedings, sometimes 3, sometimes 1... It was my time to rest and recover while the boys were getting the care they needed. But it was devastating. I cried every night and called the NICU to check on them at almost every feeding. Then Harrison came home without David and I cried for David every day even though I loved the attention I could give Harrison.

All that stress - plus the hormone changes - gave me a serious toothache and I realized I had to get a root canal. Got that done and they put me on antibiotics, to which I found out I am allergic, so I broke out in hives that increased in volume and severity over a few days. The doc said to stop taking the antibiotics and take Benadryl every few hours. Then that dried up my milk supply and I could barely make enough for one of my babies so I had to increase the formula they were putting in their milk to bulk up. What I'm saying is, July was a hell of a month for me. Thankfully it's over and I am doing much better and the babies are starting to move around and smile and make cute noises. 

Q: Got pictures?

A: Loads.

Left: Harrison. Right: David

David and I.

Harrison milk drunk.

David harnessing his inner Blue Steel.

Chicken Tetrazzini: The first postpartum meal I made. The boys were 8 weeks old.

I started this post 2 days ago in the late morning, and now I am finishing it at 6 am while I pump.  It has taken me this long to get this thing typed out. And now I want to be done.

Do you have any questions I didn't answer?

One Month

My sons are a month old. It was official two days ago but I was too busy and tired to write anything... They are over 7.5 lbs now.

One of my craziest experiences so far was last week when I was alone with the boys in the house. 

I was watching TV (something I hadn't done in a while) and one of the boys started crying. It was David.

It was just about time for them to eat so I decide to grab him and go to the living room where the most comfortable chair is for nursing (it takes them a while to eat and be full... they are still so little they fall asleep a lot). I start nursing David and after only a couple of minutes Harrison wakes up. Now he's crying.

I realize I did not think ahead...

I now have to maneuver David -who has just started to eat and be happy- off the nursing pillow and in a strong football hold in one arm while keeping him latched so that I can go upstairs and get Harrison without disturbing David's mealtime. 

I successfully make it upstairs without disturbing him. And now I'm looking at Harrison...wondering how to retrieve him. I make several attempts at picking him up with my one other arm, and fail. So I decide it is necessary to detach from David. I quickly put him down next to Harrison in the crib and swoop them both up in my arms. I quite literally laughed a loud, triumphant laugh as I carried them downstairs. 

I haven't figured out how to breastfeed both of them at the same time without someone positioning me first, so I set David in his bouncer and get a bottle of my previously pumped milk out and warm it up (slowly heat it in a mug of hot water - thankfully I have a bottle-warmer now) while holding Harrison in the other arm. David is crying when I get back to him. 

Note: When I am alone during the day with them I usually feed them like this:

And they like it. The folded blankets next to them hold the bottles up. 

But only one of them was eating from a bottle this time so I get on the floor and put Harrison on the blanket and latch David again. Then I realize before I can feed Harrison he needs a burp cloth underneath him because the milk runs down his chin. The burp cloth was across the room. So I have to put David down again and grab it. Okay NOW I'm ready. I get David back on and get the bottle in Harrison's mouth and they're off! 

Then it was great.

It's fun. 

...Seriously. I love them.

Home Boys

Life at home is very exhausting... But the extreme cuteness of my boys makes it even more worth it.

Harrison is in between me and my computer as I type this on my bed. Sometimes the only way they will sleep is right next to me (I only let this happen once in a while till they fall asleep and only in the daytime). Mama's boys...

Here's what the not-so-tiring part of home is looking like:

I'm pretty sure they are scheming behind mom's back already...

And this is the sweetest picture ever. Baby Dave after his bath.