Good Morning

They slept 9 hours straight last night.

I was engorged with milk, but not mad at all.

Shots

David and Harrison got their second round of immunizations yesterday. It's the worst. But this time it wasn't as bad as last time. Last time they seemed sad, confused, and scared. This time they just didn't like it, but then they ate right after and fell fast asleep.

However, a few hours later when they woke up for their next feeding, David started crying. It was the "I am very much in pain" cry. Any time that happens everyone else needs to BACK UP because this mother hawk needs to find what's wrong with her baby and she doesn't care about anything else in the process! Except her other baby. I made sure he was okay too.

Because I had just changed him I noticed his legs were red and slightly enflamed under his bandaids. We decided to give him one mL of baby tylenol. He calmed a little and finished his food. Then about 10 minutes later while his papa was holding him he started crying in pain again. Ugh! I CANNOT handle when my babies are in pain. His left leg was swelling up more down to his foot and not just red but purple, too. I am panicking at this point. I called the pediatrician and he said I can give him more tylenol. I promptly obeyed. It started going down again and when it looked back to normal his exhausted, precious little self was out. Thank goodness.

Four Months: Learning

The boys are four months old today. They have grown a lot. I hardly ever pick them both up at the same time because they are getting so heavy and strong.
They are starting to be awake during the day much more than asleep now, and it's really fun, but my everyday is now much busier.

My daily To Do list usually looks like this:

>Make bottles/feed babies (on repeat)
>Pump (on repeat)
>Eat breakfast
>Spend the morning exercising them and playing with them
>Do a load of laundry
>Get dressed and brush teeth at some point...
>Take them for a walk or drive
>Read
>Try to eat lunch
>Play with them some more
>Do the dishes
>Work on my online courses
>Clean/organize something
>Exercise them some more
>Try to exercise myself!
>Try to eat dinner

The most enjoyable things on that list are reading, online courses, going for a walk, aaand playing with them is pretty fun, too. It is not as fun when they are whiny and just want me to hold them.
It's a lot to do! And that's just the basics! Just tryin' to live my life! And it's not easy to get these things done.

Harrison sitting in his chair

Happy David

Harrison being shy about smiling.

They are learning new things and I love watching them. They are grabbing things, rolling over on their backs, babbling, starting to laugh (a sound almost as beautiful as hearing my first born's cry for the first time), trying to hold their bottles when they eat, sitting up in their Bumbo chairs, and Dave and I both swear they say "mum" and "mumma" now when they cry. Just sad cries, not tired or hungry. Other people have heard it and mentioned it! Whatever, whatever, I don't care if it's on purpose or not, I like it. I've been saying the word "momma" to them constantly since they were a month old so I think they at least understand that somehow it represents me, whether they moan it or not.
Now I have started doing the word "mom" and others in sign language while I say them.

Today we listened to Mozart on the record player. It seems to be one of their favorites. These are all our records:

These are some other favorites. Okay okay, the Billy Joel one is for me, not them. The bottom right one is Animal Collective...for when I'm feeling wild. They love Andrew Bird; it's very peaceful for them. Coldplay is soothing as well.

I wish I could spend as much attention on them EACH as I do with both of them together. I have three men to show affection and love for. It's a wonderful life and I wouldn't do anything else, but some days I am worn thin. I won't pretend like my life is hard, but some days are difficult. Baby David won't breastfeed anymore and sometimes it makes me frustrated and sad. I still give him my milk in bottles, and every once in a while I try to nurse him again. It doesn't work.
As a mother, I have learned to love in a different way than ever before. When you're a mom, you can't stop. It is the definition of full time. If you're feeling sad you either fight through it and do what you have to do, or let yourself cry. Today I let myself cry. My babies are very intrigued when they see me cry. Sometimes we cry together. It's okay to cry. I want them to know that. It feels much better than not crying.
So go have a good cry! Just kidding. I mean, you can! If you feel like it. Okay that's all.

First Halloween

The twins just had their first Halloween.

David was Superman and Harrison was Batman. I was Cat Woman without the ears....(costume decision at last minute), and Dave was at work. So we went to visit him! 

It was a nice Halloween. We dressed up and went over to Dave's parents' house to watch trick or treaters and give out candy after we visited Dave. Then I picked up Thai food for everyone and got to get my delicious fix. 

We got home right before Dave. Then Dave and I gave them baths and they slept for 7 hours, and again for 4 hours after they ate.

They could have been ninja turtles but I figured that's probably what they'll be for the next 5 years at least.