Things that got us through

Twins are hard. Harder than one baby. Harder to carry, harder to take places, harder to keep asleep at night, harder to feed, harder to bond with (because you have to make sure you have good bonding time with both separately), etc. Here are some things that have gotten us through so far:

Formula:
I know - how terrible of me, right? Well it's hard enough to give enough food to one baby, so two was a challenge. Especially when the hormones in your body set off a bad toothache and suddenly you need a root canal, and then the antibiotics for that root canal give you hives, and because of those hives you need lot of Benadryl, and that Benadryl dried up your milk supply and you can't ever regain that awesome milk supply you started with. So, I am grateful for formula. Also because my babies were premature and needed the extra calories after birth to gain weight. They needed it.

Dave's parents:
They live about 5 minutes away, so they were in the hospital with me through the weekend of hell (birth story coming soon) when Dave couldn't be. We also get to take the boys over there whenever we need a little break, want to go out, or just let the boys have some Nana and Papa time. They have helped us out tremendously, and that is probably an understatement.

My parents:
My mom came out for 5 and a half weeks after I had the twins, and she helped us throughout the night feedings and throughout the hormone-causing spiral of pain and stress (mentioned in Formula section). My dad was able to come out for a few days as well, and spent a lot of time with the boys and did some small repairs on our house. And when we went to California for a couple of weeks for Christmas and New Years they watched the boys almost every day so I could spend time with friends and get out in the sun. My mom and I FaceTime often, and sometimes I do it just so she can virtually watch them while I make bottles or to give them some Grandma time. I'm really grateful for that.

Free bottles from the NICU:
The boys were in the NICU for almost 2 weeks, and in the mother room where you can pump and do other private things, they have drawers full of bottles to take home and store your milk in. You can literally take home as many as you can fit in your bag. We stuffed more in our pockets every day. We just kept those and bought the nipples that fit them at the store. We hadn't paid for a single bottle until they started eating so much we had to switch to the 10 oz bottles. We even got some of those from the hospital too, before the boys were discharged.

The breastpump:
I hate it but I love it. I had to pump after EVERY FEEDING to generate enough milk flow, and to keep a good milk supply in the fridge. They had 8 feedings a day... And while they were in the hospital I had to pump at home every feeding time. It really consumes your day. But I got a lot of reading done, and they were getting my milk. That's all that mattered. Baby Dave refused to breastfeed at about 3 months old. It was really hard for me to accept and I beat myself up about it all the time. I continued to nurse Harrison, and pumped as often as I could to keep giving David milk until Harrison decided he was done too. They got my milk until they were 6 months old. So I'm grateful for the pump because I would HATE if Harrison got all the good nutrients from my milk and David couldn't get any.

Craigslist/friends:
We got most of our baby stuff free from friends or family, or for cheap on Craigslist. We have saved a lot of money that way. We probably spent less money than a singleton mother would (on the one-time costs -- If you need help calculating costs for having a baby in your situation, find out here). Example: We got TWO CRIBS for free from friends. Yeah. Pretty good.


These things have made our life of twins babies easier, more affordable, and bearable.
So if you ever have twins, keep these in mind.

Me and Harrison in the first month or two.

34 weeks: Getting Weak

Some realities about being very pregnant with twins:

I've gained 50 lbs, and I am getting very tired. You're all thinking, well duh. But tired now summarizes these things:
>Waking up from contractions
>Waking up from pain of having to eat and urinate.
(for some reasons these two things are illuminated at night. I sleep like a baby kitten all day)
>Taking exhausting and painful showers because my feet and legs swell so bad that it feels like needles are poking me.
>If I go out in the daytime (it's at least 90 here like every day now) I almost die... I have to go recover by lying in bed with my feet way up and the AC on and a fan on me.
>I can't pick up anything heavier than like 15 lbs or I could go into labor, and I can't do the dishes or make dinner by myself.
>I HATE if I drop something.

This is a very mild version of what happens to my feet. I'm lying in the mother room at church. I'm done teaching as of last week. Yes, one of my sandals fell off...

I am aware that this is basically a big fat post complaining about my current lifestyle and that may be annoying, but it's just getting really hard mentally, physically, and emotionally. I cried last night before getting in the shower because I knew it was going to be hard and my feet were going to be in pain. I can't take a bath because I can't even bend down low enough to get in. Dave's tried to help.
Being this weak is terrifying. It's frustrating and overwhelming. I am getting a sense of what it's like to be physically disabled and I have a new understanding and respect for people that do.
We haven't been going out to sit-down restaurants because I can't sit in a 90 degree angle without the babies shoving into my ribs, my tailbone being sore, or my feet swelling up. I want to go swimming but being outside in this heat and sun is not even worth it. We are very limited right now to the things we can go do. We can't even go anywhere that requires more than 5 minutes of walking.

And I am so grateful that my disability is temporary and that I have someone to help me through this.
Last night Dave sat me down and blew my hair dry for me after I showered.

Yesterday the doc told me I was a little dilated so it's a good thing my body wants to rest so much. I need to. Good thing we have lots of books and I got more yarn to make the second boy's blanket:

I'm also remaking the first one which you'll see later.

32 weeks - 6 to go

Me and my belly:

My face is getting fatter not only because of my water weight, but because I'm congested a lot. My allergies make me look like I just cried or I'm tired all the time. But it's cool...

And here is who will be my first born baby boy:

This is his face - side profile. They are getting so squished that only one would cooperate. But we got this beautiful picture yesterday, which I'm happy about because we always get a good picture of the second baby and now I can see how beautiful this guy is too.

He is 3 lb 10 oz.  Baby B is 4 lb 2 oz.
I've got almost 8 lbs of baby inside me.

Latest symptoms:
> Carpal tunnel (from all the fluid in my body)
> Braxton Hicks contractions
> Sharp pains in my cervix from this little guy above pushing his head down there all the time!
>Using Those Shopping Carts That You Drive Syndrome (That's not a real syndrome, I made it up. But I do use them).
> Vivid dreams... I've heard about this and thought, 'Sure, no big. My dreams are weird enough already.' Nope. Freaking crazy, usually terrifying, all night long dreams. They are scary, but they tend to end pretty neutral. Or maybe I just die, I don't know. And sometimes throughout them, a random boy from my past (before Dave) will ride by on a bike or be in the audience of my dream or something and I'm like oh hey.
Some subjects include:
--Killer whales (one of the scariest creatures EVER)
--Dinosaurs (what I used to have nightmares about constantly as a child because I couldn't stop watching Jurassic Park)
--Battling Arnold Schwarzenegger with another pregnant girl (Fun? No, scary)
--Going back to my last job for a day and them not letting me leave (shudder)

And then Dave has a nightmare about people handing him babies and he keeps dropping them...
That seems to make more sense to me.

Thirty-one weeks

Here I am at 31 weeks. I am measuring full term for singleton pregnancy. I have been given a prescription for my contractions so that my uterus will stay relaxed and the boys will stay in. They're like rabbits.

Also, I decided to chop me some bangs. They are NOT straight across - ew (no offense to the people that look great with those) or on my eyebrows, they are a bit shorter and I can sweep them to either side. I like shorter bangs that shape my face and eyes without hiding my eyebrows...or my face.

And here are a few cute clothes the boys have. You'll see the rest on them later.

Like father like sons :)

Teeniest pants ever made. Just think about how small my hand is.

And these...

I'm dying.

28 weeks: Third Trimester

News:

This is me at 28 weeks pregnant. The boys are 2 lb 5 oz and 2 lb 8 oz. That is the weight a single baby should be at this time, so they are definitely doing well...

The doctor said I am showing no signs of future preterm labor so if I can, they will let me go to 38 weeks, and then they will induce me. So I know the twins won't be coming later than July 24th-ish. It's so crazy having a more solid due date. I know when I will have them (IF I can make it that far).

I am also pleased to announce that I am done with work!!! I am so happy I get time to myself now to get things done and rest whenever I want. Hopefully I don't go crazy.

Thoughts:

I am so nervous to have these babies, but also much more anxious about delivery that I want to just get it over with, but I can't say that! Because the whole world will freak out at me and say "Don't wish that upon yourself!" And I'm not. 

I just think, getting to 38 weeks sounds terrible, scary, and exhausting. Do you know what twin-expecting moms looks like by 38 weeks? Not delightful. But that means the babies will be more healthy and ready to come home so I'll be happy. Whatever happens happens.

Cravings:

All I want is DRINKS! Anything really cold and refreshing. But pretty much anything with vitamin C gives me heartburn so that knocks out a lot of beverages. It's worth it most of the time though. I have almost zero appetite for solid foods lately. 

I was frustrated last night because I didn't want to eat anything but I knew I had to eat something, and Dave pulls out a really awesome vitamin-filled vanilla protein drink. I downed it and fell fast asleep. But I can always eat sushi (cooked) or Thai food. My taste is very expensive, and it makes me angry. Cereal has been my best friend.

More thoughts:

I kind of feel like a toddler throughout this experience. Maybe it's my body trying to empathize with my babies, or maybe trying to get Dave ready to deal with babies. One minute I'm laughing super happily, the next I'm yelling at him or sobbing. I don't know how or why it happens but it's exhausting. It's like emotion attack and a feeling of no control - the kind I haven't felt since I was little and didn't know how to express what I was feeling, if I even knew what I was feeling. It's frustrating and scary and I hope it vanishes postpartum. 

We're gonna have a bbq and go swimming with some friends this week. It sounds absolutely wonderful. I'll try not to drink the whole pool.

Sleepy

This is basically my life now. And somehow I have to teach my kids how to do this. I guess it'll be a tad easier when they're not inside me pulling themselves and all that extra weight and junk over my pants. Or lack thereof.

25 Weeks

Here is the link to our reception highlights video. It's beautiful and funny and brings back so many good memories! I love my husband more every day, no matter what happens.

https://vimeo.com/64934520'

And here is my latest belly picture:

I'm 25 weeks and have gained 25 lbs. The boys are over 1.5 lbs now. I can't wait to see them.

I'm having a pretty good Saturday. I've gotten a lot done, eaten well, prepared my lesson for my 12 & 13 year old Sunday School class, and while I was preparing it and eating breakfast at Starbucks, a girl sat down next to me. We started chatting and she asked if I was in school. I told her I was preparing my lesson for Sunday School.

 I told her I was LDS and she said, "Oh! Does that mean Mormon?" I was happy to see some excitement in her eyes. She and her husband have had a couple Mormon friends and they have talked a little bit about it with them. I told her about the Word of Wisdom (easy topic for being in a coffee shop) and she told me she attends a church about 30 minutes away. `I didn't have a Book of Mormon so I left my phone number, church address and time we meet, and the church website on a napkin and gave it to her. I was nervous... I told her it was nice to meet her and left. I'm praying she calls, or at least finds a way to learn more. 

If you are curious about what I believe in, here is the link to the website:

http://www.lds.org/?lang=eng

You can read from the Bible, the Book of Mormon, or any of the other testaments of Christ. It truly makes you happy, and your Heavenly Father happy. I know he is real. It doesn't hurt to learn more. It heals.

For Your Health!

Lemon Kale Salad:

Kale is one of the superest super foods you can eat! And it's got a lot of iron so pregnant women should definitely find ways to eat it, especially if you don't eat meat or just don't get a lot of meat or fish regularly. And it's got LOADS of vitamin K which helps prevent blood clotting, which is also especially beneficial for pregnant ladies!
This is totally awesome and I eat it every day now after work. I love sour things and spicy things (I feel bad for my boys), and this is definitely sour for most people, so feel free to experiment. Add more or less of whatever you want. Maybe start by only adding one tablespoon of lemon juice and go from there.

Ingredients:
One bunch of Kale
2 tbsp Olive Oil
2 tbsp Lemon Juice
1/4 tsp Sea Salt
(You could also add things like fruit or crushed almonds - as long as it works with lemon!)

Directions:
Thoroughly rinse kale, and rip into 1 inch pieces. Paper towel dry. Throw in a medium/large bowl and add the rest of the ingredients. With hands, mix and massage the kale until every piece is a wet and vibrant green. Taste test one or two pieces to see if it is to your satisfaction. Adjust if necessary, and enjoy!
*You can also bake for 10-15 minutes on a baking sheet at 350 degrees and see if you like that texture/taste better!


Note: I don't make this much every time. Most of the time it's just for me so I usually make it in the bowl you see in the picture. It's always good to use a deeper bowl so you have enough room to mix and don't make a mess. And since I use a smaller bowl and portion, I just guess how much oil, lemon, and salt I should add and it is usually just right, so measurements don't matter as much as just adding however much you like of what you like.

The Boys

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are having TWO FRATERNAL BOYS!

I get more and more excited every minute. I have 6 nephews and I LOVE them, and I have always wanted boys, so I feel so peaceful. I am going to love them so much it's insane. And of course Dave is ecstatic. He is going to be an amazing dad, I knew from the beginning. He is so loving. I know they will love us too.

They are both 6 inches now (yeah last time I was wrong. I said each baby was 6 inches but I meant both altogether measured 6 inches).

They are still due August 8th, which is a full 40 week pregnancy, but the doctor said that all they can usually aim for with twins is getting them to 36 weeks, so they might come a whole month earlier than that. Who knows. Here are a few pictures:

^ Baby B was the first one we found out was a boy. He is beautiful.

^ Baby A took a lot longer to turn in a way for us to see his little weewee! Dave loves this picture because we watched the baby put his hand up to his chin in "The Thinker" pose. He is looking up and you can see his eye and his arm bent up and his fingers holding his chin. And you can see all his bones! He may look starved it's just the angle. He has another picture that looks much more like Baby B.

^ I love this. We got a picture of both boys' feet, but this one was funny because the toes were wiggling in a way that Dave wiggles his toes all the time. It was so cute I squealed...

Can you see the two bent legs and the foot on the left side?

Updates

1. I've gained 10 lbs.
2. I've only got three pairs of pants left. Good thing two of those are maternity pants so let's hope those last a long time...
3. I can feel them flipping around and kicking, not from the outside, just from the inside. It feels like popcorn popping a few times.
4. We get to find out in a week what the genders are.
5. I have heartburn every night.
6. I have headaches every day.
7. I could eat a double cheeseburger with chili fries and a shake, and be hungry again in 30 minutes.
8. At 14 weeks I was 15 cm - I'm 18 weeks now - and a singleton pregnant girl I know measured 16 cm at 18 weeks. So I measure about a month ahead of girls pregnant with one baby. There's some perspective.
9. I already pee a little when I sneeze or cough.
10. I'm learning how to have a pretty healthy lifestyle. Everyone should just be on a pregnancy diet (without the trying to get 600 extra calories a day part).

14 weeks

I don't have time to say much, so here is the picture. They are both 15 cm (5.9 inches) and have an average heartbeat of 160 per minute. They look like babies now, with little noses, round heads and booties. The due date is August 8th, but since there are two, it will most likely be in July. They are for sure fraternal.

Top: the baby on the right is showing it's body a lot more (it's back I think). You can still see the outline of the other one though (looks more like the side profile). They are parallel.

Bottom: You can see mainly the two heads. Cute heads.

Gluten Freedom

I've never loved Saturdays as much as I do now. I work full time and I never feel like I have enough time to do all the things I need to do (even though most of those things I could do if I was really good at prioritizing). But on Saturday I finally have DAYTIME to do things. Ended up going to the grocery store twice... Target was the first trip which was more fun - I got a really pretty painting on clearance, and they have couches that I can sit my exhausted butt on.

I made a parmesan chicken dish for dinner but we didn't get to eat it because it wasn't done until right before we had to leave for a friend's surprise birthday party. It was fun though, and now we have food for tomorrow.

The birthday girl does not eat gluten or egg annnd other stuff? So I found a recipe for "lemon kale chips" which are really simple and I like lemon and kale so since I didn't have time to make that let alone barely my own dinner, I will bring it over there later this week and see how it is.

For my sister (and anyone else gluten free):
http://www.elanaspantry.com/paleo-diet-recipes/

This is where I found the kale chips.

And here is the latest picture of my belly (13.5 weeks):

Baby Bump

This is me in my work bathroom. My hideaway.

12 weeks

So I am at about 12 weeks now. I have another appointment with our midwife in a couple weeks, so I may or may not be able to tell the sex of the little ones. My nausea has gone away, with the exception of a few random days. Brushing my teeth provokes the gagging the most (not even brushing my tongue anymore), so usually it is after I brush, or sometimes before I can even wash my mouth out. My tummy pokes out and I hate buttoning my pants (or wearing them) - but that's no different than any other time in my life. My tailbone is sore, and I feel like I can never get enough food in my belly for the three of us. But I love it. All of it.

Dave's car lease was up in December so I drive him to work almost every day and pick him up. It's fun because I like getting up and ready at the same time with my love every morning. We have a lot of fun together, even through our trials. He really is my best friend in the whole world. 

So we've been budgeting a lot, and saving as much as we can. We have gotten A LOT of baby stuff for free. Already. From friends. It's awesome. 

Like this LOVELY crib, no mattress yet, but exactly what I fantasized about:

And this double stroller with two car seats!!!:

We are very lucky. And happy.

The News

David and I are now "+ two" because we are having TWINS! Total shock and total excitement. It's insane. This blog will be the host of all the crazy and fun stories and updates lying ahead. 

Like this:

The top baby is in a larger sac that is taking a lot more of the room, but they are same size, and this is normal. They are just about 8 1/2 weeks. Hearing their separate heartbeats was the most amazing moment of my life.

We just feel blessed, and we know that if God wants us to do this, we can. We're gonna have a lot of exhausting fun!!! So stay tuned.