Life with 16 month old boys

Here are some of the funny things my kids are doing these days...

Animal noises were the first things they could say. But now they're kind of over it and for every animal I ask them to imitate Harrison barks like a dog and David meows - with perfect clarity and pronunciation which somehow makes it more hilarious. 

They play Connect Four with me. Without winners or losers or any understanding of the objective. Which is why I play with them.

No matter what Harrison has in his hand at what time, he has to hit David on the head with it.

David hits his head on everything anyway.

They are starting to trade items and share without me asking which is one of the coolest things about twins so far.

Harrison wiggles when he walks as if he's trying to be a dog. All the time. It's very girly but I like it.

They both dance like weirdos. David bends his knees and goes side to side or up and down almost like twerking. Harrison looks like a sassy black woman from the 50's when he dances. like with sassy hands and twisty hips. I'm trying not to be worried about it.

If I mention anyone is "coming over" they look at the door immediately. 

When they do something mean to each other they have to say sorry and give a hug - and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen even when forced.

They take their diapers off and pee if they don't have pants on. Happened last night in David's crib.

Harrison developed a grumpy scowl and does it all the time for fun and totally out of context. Sometimes he's just scowling at me from across the room...

If I close myself in a room to vacuum it, David thinks I'm dying. Total panic and terror until I'm out. Even though he knows both me and the vacuum quite well at this point.

One of their favorite things is the idea of brushing their teeth (I brush their teeth with a tiny bit of adult toothpaste more aggressively than they'd like, and then they get to do it themselves after it's washed off). It's really not exciting. But I try to make that last part really rewarding... 

It's boring, but, it's my life  ;). Plus lots and lots of fall leaves, going to the park as much as possible before winter, only one car, chalk and colored pencils, little books, Winnie the Pooh adventures, stand-up showers until the full bathroom upstairs is finished, and so many little things I cherish. I don't know why but I haven't been this excited for the holidays in years.

Mom came to visit.

We went to New York.

-Boys last winter-

What about the holidays are you most excited for???

Thoughts about life/afterlife

Hey guys,  remember me? Sorry I haven't "blogged" in a while. I've just been living life. Creating memories. Reading books. Trying to figure out the meaning of life. Ya know, the usual. I just started a new book: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It's a captivating novel. I'm almost done, but my mom's in town right now so I am spending more time with her than my book recently. There are so many hilarious and also poignant lines and concepts in it. The death-anxiety part of me is loving it, but it's not just philosophical - it's also about two awesome cancer-fighting teens falling in love (obviously everyone knows about this story, right?!) so my teenage-girly heart is loving it too.

Do you believe in an afterlife? This is one conversation that they have. Read the book to hear it (and/or to have your heart explode). We are all looking for the meaning of our lives, and how we can create meaning within them. What will my verse be? Hmm.

I do believe that there is something for us after death. And going through death brings us closer to God. I believe there is a Supreme Being who created me and loves me. There I said it. Sounds crazy, right? It's becoming less and less popular and intellectually-sound to believe in God these days isn't it? Well I never was very popular. I am young but I've been through some crappy things in my life. I haven't had to deal much with death, though. And now I think about it every day. Why? Because it scares me. I have little children. I have never had to feel this way about another human, until I created two that are now a part of this earth. There are parts of my body that are now living beings walking around that I love so dearly that if I think about it too much my heart seriously might explode. I sacrificed my existence so that I could create life. I could have died delivering them. I would die for them without any hesitation. And that's scary.

But we do things that are so scary because that is how we form connections, understand God, and create meaning. The things you aren't doing because they are scary are so often the best things. We are all dying like people fighting cancer, just not as quickly. Sorry if that was too blunt - what I'm saying is, let's really live our lives the way we really want to live them! That means different things for every person: for some it is seeing the whole world, for others it is simply spending more time with the people they love. Anyway, all this is coming from the thoughts and questions in my brain recently. What do you think about all this? I am trying really hard to be a better person which starts with loving people unconditionally and not thinking about myself as much. A lot comes from that I think and there are so many adventures waiting to be had so love yourself and everyone and live life with courage and purpose. That's a lot to ask for... Well, it helps to sit, meditate, and reflect. Then make a list of ways to create a better quality of life. Think about how you can create it every day. I would show you mine, but I simply want to keep it mine.

I suppose I will tell you one, though:

Keep social media off my phone so that I can be present and available with my kids.


I would love to hear your thoughts whether you did it or not.

Traveling

Traveling has always been something vague to me - something I have always wanted to do but don't really know how or what it means. I think I'm figuring it out in small steps just by seeing new places in the United States. I got to drive with all my boys down to Delaware on the most beautiful roads through trees, lakes and rivers, and humungous farms filled with crops and horses. A good majority of it was spent listening to the two littlest boys whining, but the trip back wasn't so bad. Dave's parents rented a beach house for a week in Bethany. The picture above is when I caught my first fish at Bethany Beach. I was really, really happy about it. We went early in the morning and watched the sun float higher and higher over the water. I had never seen the sunrise on the beach before. It is easy on the eyes and so satisfying. It reminded me why I like mornings. The Atlantic ocean is warmer and calmer (usually) than the Pacific - although, there were LOTS of sea creatures in there! Usually you don't run into anything or even see much on the west coast beaches, but we all at different times stepped on something much bigger than the fish in this picture. That's when I decided to get out and dry off. That morning fishing trip we saw a whole lot of dolphins, and every day we went we saw rays, horseshoe crabs, and sharks (not huge, but... big enough).

I saw so many new things even though I've lived ten minutes away from the beach almost my whole life. It's experiences like that that make me feel alive. I was quite the home body by the time the boys were born and it took me a while to start going out with them. Now we've seen lots of new places, we try new things all the time (roller derby being my personal new obsession), and they're growing freaking fast. I am so grateful for being able to see new things and I can't wait till my kids can really enjoy new places and remember them. I'm pretty sure once my kids are all older Dave and I are going to drive them around the entire country making them see and do new things with us as part of their schooling. That'd be great.

I've heard people say that you should travel and do everything you want to do before you have kids, but I've done probably way more cool things than I did before getting knocked up! It may be harder to do with kids but I see it as a challenge. And I love a good challenge. I want my kids to challenge themselves and not be afraid of new things. To me, there is nothing more satisfying or relieving than facing your fears alongside the ones you love. And since my closest obvious encounter to death was on a big, scaly rock surrounded by ocean, letting my kids even go near it was a huge accomplishment.

You 

can 

do 

it

(with kids!).

- Wannabe traveler/go-getter

Tired Saturdays

Shirt: saltandpeppertees Shoes: lifeslittlethrills

Today is a cloudy, rainy day just like the one above, except Dave works and we are not going to an awesome breakfast place or seeing a fountain with blue water. Saturdays are usually hard because even though Dave gets off earlier than most days of the week, it's the weekend and I'm tired. My plan today is to go walk on Main and find a coffee shop or diner where we can get some food. The boys (and I) NEED lots of adventure and new things so one of my new year's resolutions was to go somewhere new every week, even if it's on the same block I've been on plenty of times. I haven't done it every week. Most times it's not intended; I don't keep track. But just having that goal written down pushes me to think creatively.

Saturday is the usual day that the poke in the eye or the kick in the crotch is extra annoying. Most things like that are accidental, but that doesn't make it any less annoying. Saturday is when I'm too tired to do the dishes or run around with my kids. Our play time involves a whole lot of me lying on the floor singing badly to them or dying slowly from punches and body slams. It's a day when I hear them crying and hate everything - including myself for being so imperfect. Or today - David wakes up from their nap after only 30-45 minutes each time and leaves me with lots of unfinished things and uttering the words WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME. And then I change one diaper while the other baby takes out all the wipes or finds the one thing that's most harmful in the room for them so I have to stop what I'm doing and take it from him so he can cry and the other one can get away butt naked. Despite all the extremely frustrating, exhausting, and painful things I go through day to day, I still can't get over how cute they are or how much I want to pinch that little butt trying to get away. Yes, I have plenty of days I fantasize about not having kids and all the glorious things I would do with my time, but I can still do most things if I put my mind to it. And I plan on sharing lots of adventures with them as they get older, because they're my best friends. I think moms with young kids have the hardest job out there. I don't know what it's like having older kids and I know there are lots of older people who would quickly rebuttal "Well you JUST WAIT till they're (insert age group hardest for them to parent).
But I am not them! Everyone has different challenges, and I am excited to have conversations with my little friends when they're older. I feel like I'm just talking to myself most of the time.

Hope someone is living it up somewhere new today.

P.S. My kids are screaming at me as I finish this post. 

Life

That's all. I took all social media off my phone a couple weeks ago so I can more easily be where I am. I don't want or need validation from the internet and I don't need to see other people's internet-selves all day long. No offense, of course.
Will be posting soon, catching friends and family up on our life.